Paddy...

Paddy is passing by Mick's hay shed one day when through a gap in the door he sees Mick doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of his old red Massey Ferguson.

Buttocks clenched, he performs a slow pirouette and gently slides off first to the right, then to the left.

He then hunches his shoulders forward and in a classic striptease move, lets his braces fall down from his shoulders to dangle by his hips over his corduroy trousers .

Grabbing both sides of his checked shirt, he rips it apart to reveal his tea stained vest underneath and with a final flourish he hurls his cap on to a pile of hay.

"What on earth are you doing, Mick?" says Paddy.

"Jeez Paddy, ye frightened the livin bejasus out of me!" says an obviously embarrassed Mick. "But me and the Missus been having some trouble lately in the bedroom department and the therapist suggested I do something sexy to a tractor!